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▲: hi there!
▼: okay so heres the deal stranger ▼: the low down ▼: the 411 if you will ▼: usually i dont bother with these lame chat sites ▼: but ive been watching aladdin on repeat for the last six hours while shoving nothing but jelly beans down my throat ▼: because thats what my bro says is the cure for the common cold ▼: and even if thats pure and utter bullshit ▼: its the only food ive got
▲: dave? is that you??
▼: so my tolerence level is pretty high right now ▼: yes yes strider at your service
▲: awesome! i found you on the first try!
▼: beginners luck then ▼: step into my office ▼: what can i do for you ▼: actually fuck that the real question is what can you do for me
▲: i can probably suggest a better cure for the common cold!
▼: actually ▼: that would be beyond fantastic ▼: maybe even marvelous ▼: stupendous even
▲: rose suggested drinking hot tea with honey, eating animal crackers, and watching something silly on tv! ▲: i tried it and i got over my last cold in a record three days! ▲: bro seriously told you to eat nothing but jelly beans?? that's so not healthy!
▼: i dont think i could ever lower myself to drink tea even in the worst of situations ▼: yeah its one of his crazy schemes ▼: he says its all to make me stronger or some shit ▼: that i need to be prepared for the future
▲: you could always add applejuice to the tea to make it taste better!
▼: but i think maybe he just gets off on my suffering ▼: i dont think we even have any tea ▼: how do you even make that shit
▲: just boil water, add the packet of tea leaves, and let it sit for a few minutes.
▼: and if we did have tea who knows where the fuck bro hid it
▲: in the dishwasher, next to the fireworks? hehehehe!
▼: actually ▼: hold on let me check that
▲: oh man i was kidding! you guys really keep fireworks in the dishwasher??
▼: where else ▼: anyways no luck finding tea there
▲: my dad keeps ours in the basement, next to the power tools, which i am not supposed to touch. ▲: did you ask him if you guys had any?
▼: that would be the worst possible thing to do in this situation ▼: if i ever want to get my hands on it ▼: i cant just ask him where it is
▲: hmmm...well, you could always heat up some apple juice instead. any hot drink would probably help you!
▼: alright ▼: be right back as i rid the microwave of more of these shitty puppets
▼: yeah okay ill admit it ▼: this is surprisingly soothing ▼: color me impressed
▲: yay, it worked! ▲: just wait, soon you'll be feeling better than ever!
▼: egbert its like youre the perfect little housewife
▲: h-hey! i don't act like a housewife! i'm just helping my best bro!
▼: isnt your house all neat and tidy and shit
▲: th-that's because of my dad! he likes to keep things neat and clean! ▲: i mean, i like things orderly, but i'm not obsessive about it!
▼: can you cook
▲: ... ▲: ...maybe
▼: could you make me a sandwich
▲: if i was at your place, maybe i would. but i wouldn't know where anything is!
▼: join the club ▼: but that wouldnt be a problem for very long with you around
▲: i don't know...there's no way i'd be able to keep up with one strider, let alone two! ▲: you two would probably re-wreck the place before i could finish cleaning one room!
▼: i guess youre probably right ▼: so then my only option would be to visit you then
▲: yeah! that would be so fun! we could watch awesome movies and stuff! you'd feel better in no time!
▼: and lets be honest a little strider in your life would do you worlds of good ▼: youd become the coolest kid in the state just by having me sleep on your couch
▲: heheheh! now you have to come over soon!
▼: is that an invitation ▼: cause i have a suitcase begging to be used as soon as possible
▲: yay! my dad says he'd be fine with it!
▼: oh woah ▼: is this ▼: is this happening
▲: dude, this is totally happening! ▲: and dad just offered to pay for half your airfare!
▼: okay ▼: okay ▼: not to freak you out ▼: but excuse me as i go duel my brother for the other half
▲: oh man! you shouldn't push yourself! don't make your cold any worse than it is!
▼: its okay man ▼: since you know i love you and shit ▼: so it has to be done
▲: are you sure? i'm sure if i ask my dad, he can cover the rest!
▼: no way this is how stuff goes down in the strider household ▼: dont worry i dont even have to win ▼: so long as i impress
▲: just take it easy, okay?
▼: ill be back john ▼: im making this happen
▲: okay. i'll be waiting here!
▼: okay so after endless humiliation ▼: and several new bruises later ▼: this is happening
▲: oh my gosh! this is going to be so epic!!
▼: not gonna lie ▼: i might shit myself from excitement
▲: me too! i can't stop grinning, i'm so happy!
▼: in theory cool guys dont grin ▼: but yeah pretty much me too
▲: when you get here, i will personally make you that sandwich you wanted! ▲: i can just picture you ironically smirking right now!
▼: its so ironic ▼: because its a sincere smile and im not supposed to be sincere ▼: and thats the irony john
▲: dude this is gonna be great! i gotta get the spare room set up!
▼: oh man dont go through that extra effort ▼: a couch is all i need
▲: dave, you are not sleeping on the couch! that thing is uncomfortable!
▼: then ill sleep on your bedroom floor or something ▼: ill pack a sleeping bag
▲: we've got one here, if you want it!
▼: then there we go ▼: man you have no idea what you just got yourself into
▲: what do you mean?
▼: strider in person is at least ten time better
▲: oh man i am freaking out so much i don't know what to say! ▲: i'm such a derp. ▲: herp derp!
▼: thats the best word to describe you ▼: there are no others ▼: none
▼: well uh i guess the next thing i should do is look up ticket prices
▲: oh yeah! you should probably do that soon! ▲: oh gosh this is insane! i can't believe i'm gonna meet THE dave strider in person!! ▲: when i see you, i'm gonna give you the biggest bro-hug ever!!
▼: you better get ready to swoon
▲: i think what i'm doing right now counts as swooning! or maybe it's hyperventilating.
▼: whatever it is you should probably get a glass of water or something ▼: cant have you dying on me
▲: okay, gimme a second. i need to breathe now. ▲: okay....okay, that's better. i feel much better now.
▼: not for long ▼: hey john hey guess what
▼: sometime in the near future ▼: we can play catch or whatever it is men do to bond
▲: you mean like watching awesome movies, ▲: scarfing down endless bowls of popcorn, ▲: and passing out from caffeine overdose at five in the morning?
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scheinbar is a much-loved and well-known deviant. Just one look at her gallery, filled with enchanting photography, will have you mesmerized. A deviant for over 7 years, Christiane can always be found posting inspirational features as well as regularly commenting on other deviations and encouraging and empowering her fellow deviants. We are inspired and insist that you too stop by and congratulate ... Read More